Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation –
The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
The Salary Axiom –
The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.
Weiner’s Law of Libraries –
There are no answers, only cross-references.
Kenny’s Law of Auto Repair –
The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.
Second Law of Business Meetings –
If there are two possible ways to spell a person’s name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary – If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.
Lampner’s Law of Employment –
When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.
Quile’s Consultation Law –
The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.
Van Gogh’s Law –
Whatever plan one makes, there is a hidden difficulty somewhere.
Troutman’s Fifth Programming Postulate –
If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.
Lerman’s Law of Technology –
Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.
Corollary – You are never given enough time or money.
Lovka’s Advice –
Never rely on a person who uses “party” as a verb